Nurturing Independence in Children in Cambodia

on Thursday, 20 December 2012. Posted in Parenting Tips

Tips for Good Parenting: Healthy Independence and Self-reliance

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Creating Self-Reliant Cambodian Children

 

What is self-reliance? Self reliance is being independent. This behavior is a concept of encouraging a person to be confident, able to make decisions and do things for themselves. Taking time to nurture the growing abilities and interests of a child can be overwhelming, challenging and exhausting, but it is a very important responsibility of every parent. Young children are expected to do simple tasks every day such as putting on their shoes to knowing their numbers and letter. Sometimes, a simple thing such as choosing where to sit can be a very challenging decision for a young child. As adults/parents, offering them the opportunity to build their self-confidence and self-reliance makes these moments a bit easier for them to handle.

There are many things that we as adults/parents can do to help our children become self-reliant. Some are listed below.

Establish a daily routine with your child. Let your child do simple tasks like brushing his teeth, eating, tying his own shoe lace or putting on his clothes by himself as soon as he gets the hang of it. Teach him how to do these tasks first and later on give a chance for him to do it without you helping him.

Stand back.  When a child is about to take a risk, stand back and watch what happens. Obviously, if his well-being is in danger, step in and redirect his behavior. But if he is making the decision to try his bike without training wheels, maybe it is time to see if he really can do it. Young children are daredevils and are learning every day what their bodies can and cannot do. By allowing your child to healthfully explore his abilities without hearing a constant NO, he is learning you trust him and his decisions.

Play out-of-sight games. Beginning around nine months or earlier, play peel-a-boo and chase around the furniture games. As you hide your face with your hands or you hide your body on the other side of the couch, your child has the opportunity to imagine that you exist even if he does not see you.

Separate gradually. Best odds for a child developing a healthy sense of self are for him to separate from the mother and not the mother from him. Discipline problems less likely to occur when the child separates from the mother gradually.

Take leave properly. Make sure to let your child know when you are planning to go even just into the room next door. It is important to properly say goodbye or see you or mommy/daddy is going to work and will be back later because this helps in making your child trust you, knowing that you will always tell him what is going to happen and that you do what you say.

Allow your child to spend more time in free play. Let him explore his own ideas and think for himself. Do not worry of the mess that he will create. This comes with being a child. Just create a physically safe environment for him to explore.

Encourage helping with age-appropriate house chores. When children are a little older, they can help with simple tasks at home like laying the table, watering the plants and cleaning up their toys or room, among others. They should be given r responsibilities appropriate for their age and should be held accountable if these duties are not fulfilled. This will give them a sense of importance and they will feel that their parents trust them to do the job.

Let your child make decisions. This does not mean letting your child be the decision-maker, but to encourage him to pick out his own clothes in the morning or select dinner one night a week. When your child feels he makes decisions that are respected and taken seriously, he is building his self-confidence which encourages his self-reliance.

Be a facilitator. Children will naturally become independent. It is not your job to make them independent but rather to provide them a secure environment that allows them to become independent.

Substitute voice contact and provide long distance help. If your child is in another room out of your sight and starts to fuss, instead of immediately rushing to his aid, try telling him instead that you are coming soon. Maintaining a dialogue with a child outside the shower door is also a very good way of preventing separation anxiety. If your child needs help in what he is doing, instead of doing it yourself, give him encouragement and instructions to solve his problem.

Build relationships. Be sure that your child knows how much you love him. Effective ways of showing your love are spending quality time with him, giving him hugs and kisses, and just being caring and understanding. Also encourage closeness with other adults like grandparents, family friends or the like. Make sure that you create an environment where your child is comfortable and close to everyone in the family, not just to one person alone, because that usually means that the person he is close to is spoiling him. Introduce your child to other children and let him establish friendships with them as this normally helps in nurturing their emotional growth.

Be a model. We, parents should also be confident and should model positive behavior. First day of school is often hard to parent and child. Expect to endure separation anxiety at some point. This is true for children every time they go through a transition period from one stage of their life to the next. As an adult, we need to stay confident and be their model of positive behavior. This will encourage your child to do the same. Talk to your child about his concerns, thoughts, worries and questions. By doing this, he is learning that his thoughts are respected and heard, thus allowing him to build his own self-confidence and understanding.

Trust others.  Remember, the teachers are there for help. Encouraging your child to trust others builds his understanding of community and his role within it. When he sees adults sharing and communicating, he understands he should do the same, too. This will build his ability to make friends, continue making positive decisions, and build relationships he will have for the rest of his life.

Forming Good Study Habits with Children

on Friday, 14 December 2012. Posted in Activities

Tips in Establishing Study Habits in Children

   
   

 

 

 

student boy

Here are some tips to parents in helping children form a habit of doing their homework:

  1. Know the teachers — and what they're looking for. Attend school events, such as parent-teacher conferences, to meet your child's teachers. Ask about their homework policies and how you should be involved.
  2. Set up a homework-friendly area. Make sure kids have a well-lit, quiet and comfortable place designated as a study area. Keep supplies — paper, pencils, glue, scissors — within reach.
  3. Schedule a regular study time. Some kids work best in the afternoon, following a snack and play period; others may prefer to wait until after dinner. Know what works best with your child and choose that time as your child’s regular study time, whether he has homework or not.
  4. Help them make a plan.  Encourage your child break up the homework into loads that they can manage. Create a work schedule if necessary. This scheduling skill will help your child manage days when they have lots of homework to accomplish.
  5. Keep distractions to a minimum. This means no TV, loud music, or phone calls. If there are other children in the house, they should be kept away and instructed to be quiet or play away from where your child’s homework place.
  6. Make sure kids do their own work. They won't learn if they don't think for themselves and make their own mistakes. Parents can make suggestions and help with directions. But it's a kid's job to do the learning.
  7. Be a motivator and monitor. Check if there is homework or any take-home tasks. Make this a habit every day. Encourage your child to read and review the day’s lesson every day.
  8. Set a good example. Children follow what they see us, their parents, do. Set as a good example to your child. If your child sees you managing your time well despite your busy schedule, read a book or anything valuable, they are more likely to follow rather than just mere advices.
  9. Praise their work and efforts. Make sure that your child knows that his efforts in school are appreciated. Post an aced test or art project on the refrigerator. Mention academic achievements to relatives.
  10. If there are continuing problems with homework, get help. Talk about it with your child's teacher. Some kids have trouble seeing the board and may need glasses; others might need an evaluation for a learning problem or attention disorder.

For young learners (preschoolers and kindergartners), homework is just given out to establish good study habits for the children. Our role as parents is to just follow up, motivate and monitor our children. We don’t have to stress or pressure the child to perfect the homework.

Common Bedtime Problems and How to Solve Them

on Tuesday, 04 December 2012. Posted in Parenting Tips

Help getting your child to sleep

Common Bedtime Problems and How to Solve Them
children sleeping

Children need 10 to 11 hours of sleep every day at least for the first 9 years of their lives. Lack of sleep causes a child to be irritable, cranky and tired the whole day. However, putting them to sleep or nap can be very difficult at times so here are some problems that parents often encounter with a suggested solution for each.

  1. Problem: Mom or dad still needs to finish a report that putting the child to sleep is often rushed.

Solution: It is important to make your child’s bedtime a priority even if it means sacrificing your own bedtime because you need to rearrange your schedule and have to stay late doing your report rather than doing it early. A predictable, calming bedtime routine is often key to a good night’s sleep. You can decide on the bedtime routine. You can give your child a bath, brush his teeth, read a story, massage him or sing a song for him. You can also use this time to praise your child for something good that he has done during the day or to describe something that makes you proud of your child. If you want to play bedtime music, play the same tracks every night. Nature sounds can also be a choice. Try things out and see which routine works best with you and your child.

  1. Problem: Your child doesn’t want to go to bed.

Solution: If your child can hear talking, laughing, or sounds from the computer, TV or cellular phones, it is easy to see why he wouldn’t want to go to bed. To ease the transition to bedtime, keep things quiet during the last hour before bedtime. Keep the TV out of the bedroom. Put away noisy games and toys. Limit the entire family to quiet activities, such as reading books or doing puzzles. Sleep may be more appealing if everyone slows down before bedtime.

  1. Problem: Your child stays up too late. Bedtime is 8:30 PM but by the time he is ready to bed it’s usually too past bedtime.

Solution: If your child isn’t tired at bedtime, try waking up your child earlier in the morning or scheduling his daytime naps in the middle of the day rather than late in the afternoon. Still, provide a calming bedtime routine. Taking time to wind down always helps your child fall asleep.

  1. Problem: Your child wakes up during the night and won’t fall asleep again.

Solution: If your child wakes up during the night, give him a few minutes to settle down. If time alone doesn’t do the trick, you might have to offer calm reassurance. Then tell your child that it’s time to sleep. Wait a little longer each night to soothe your child and help him to go back to sleep until eventually he falls back asleep without your help. You might also want to check how much he eats for dinner. Hunger wakes children up at night so it is important that you child east his dinner before going to bed. Also try offering warm milk before bed time. Take note, NOT HOT but warm milk.

  1. Problem: You are frustrated with your child’s bedtime problems. You are tired of the whining, crying and complaining, so you give up and let the child fall asleep in front of the TV.

Solution: Bedtime battles can test a parent’s resolve, but you have to hang in there. Be extra patient. You might have to ignore whines, cries and pleas. If your child is pushing the limits, state your expectations, tell him the rules and stick to the routines. The backbone of success with children is consistency.

 

Problem: You are frustrated with your child’s bedtime problems. You are tired of the whining, crying and complaining, so you give up and let the child fall asleep in front of the TV.

Tips in Feeding Picky Eaters

on Friday, 16 November 2012. Posted in Parenting Tips

Methods to encourage your child to eat healthy foods


Offer a Nibble Tray.
 Children like to have a variety of food to nibble. They do not usually sit down for full meals, but rather, they like snacking all the time. Parents  should take this  as an opportunity to feed children by offering a nibble tray. This can be a tray or a plate with compartments where you put bite-sized food servings on each compartment. You can put this nibble tray at a place that the child can see and easy for them to reach. Keep in mind, too, that kids are very visual so it is important to choose a tray that is colorful and serve food in an attractive, colorful and fun way. 

Cook with your child.  You can involve your child when cooking in the kitchen by doing very simple things like mixing or handing you over some things that you need. Also, you can give him a task. For example, when making sandwiches, you can give him a plastic knife, show him how to spread mayonnaise and make his own sandwich. This can be messy but do not worry about the mess. What is important is that your child enjoys the activity. This will help change his attitude about food.

Be creative in serving food for your child.  There are a lot of ways to serve food to children. Since they are visually stimulated most of the time, you have to make sure that everything you serve is colorful, fun and appealing to their eyes. Here are some examples in serving visually appealing meals to your child.
Healthy Food Presentations for picky eaters
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